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The best made plans...

...sometimes just don't work out.

I decided on this weekend that I will not be running the half marathon on Saturday.

I really haven't talked much about my running on the blog because it's a craft blog, you know.  But I need to write this so I get some closure for myself.  Feel free to move on if you want.  My feelings will not be hurt.

I wouldn't call myself a runner.  I'm not hard core.  Really.  Prior to February, I had never more than four miles.  And I only ran for exercise, three times a week at most.  I had thought about running a half marathon when Kate was an infant, but I couldn't string together 8 hours of sleep let alone time to train for a long distance run.  With Kate in kindergarten this past fall, I found myself running 3 miles at a time and still having time to get the grocery shopping, errands, laundry, etc., into the course of the girls' school day.  I finally had the time.  I also had the inspiration.

Jan13_003_1_1

So I found a good training schedule, consulted the calendar, plotted my courses and I ran.  I ran in the sun and more often in the rain.  I ran in layers to combat the winter cold and in a tank top and shorts in 80 degree Florida heat.  I ran outside if I could and on the treadmill the three times the snow wouldn't let me (torture, really, I can't stand the treadmill).  I bought new shoes, orthopedic inserts and more running clothes than I wanted to.  And I cross-trained too.

I ran three races:  a 5k, a 10k and a 10 mile.  These are the only races I have ever run and they went well.  But before the 10 mile race, my left calf was tight - it took 3.5 miles for it to loosen up, but then felt fine.  The race was good - I finished 50 seconds over my goal.  My leg hurt for a couple of days, but then felt good.  I kept training, but the calf issue resurfaced after every longer run.   Lots of stretches, lots of ice and lots of ibuprofen later, it is still an issue.  I have gone out four times to run in the last week.  Three of those times I had to turn around and walk home after less than a half mile.  I think my body is trying to tell me something.

Mar15_1_1

I am sad that I am not running on Saturday.  I have worked really hard for more than three months just to run this race and giving it up is a huge disappointment.  I have cried over it.  Many times.  I am trying hard to look on the bright side of things.  I can give my spot to a friend who didn't register before the race closed.  I ran in the rain and the cold and I liked it.  Of course, it was better in the sun and the warmth.  I ran three races and they were great.  I stuck to a schedule and increased my distance.  I never had my normal mid-winter funk and I give all the credit for that to exercise.  And although I only lost 3 pounds, my jeans fit better.  My muffin top is smaller.  That has got to count for something, right?

I have the best people in my life.  Thank you Fatty for encouraging and supporting me.  Thank you Flickr friends for cheering me on.  Thank you Susan for training virtually with me.  Thank you Marcia for being  my ride.  Thank you Suzanne for watching my girls and being at the finish line.  Thank you to my family for checking on me and wishing me luck.  Thank you to my friends for listening to me go on and on about it.  I know I bored you to tears and you still listened.  I am blessed to have you all.

I'm not over the disappointment.  I'm pretty sure there are more tears.  But I know I made the right decision.  Tendinitis in my wrist is all the injury I can deal with right now.  There are more half marathons out there - I might even try to run one in the fall.  Or maybe I will wait until next year.  Right now I would be happy with a nice, pain-free five mile run.  That in itself is a positive thing.  I would have never thought I would look forward, let alone WANT, to run five miles.

I guess I am a runner after all.

Comments

robiewankenobie

that must be so disappointing! especially since you trained so hard for it.

i know it's not much of a consolation, but there are a few other races, including a half-marathon, coming up. for example, the flying pig! in cinnci! http://www.johnsrunwalkshop.com/race_calendar.htm

in unrelated news, i can't believe that i've read your blog this long, and didn't realize that you were just up the path in louisville.

Mama Urchin

Erin, I am so sorry about the injury and the no-go on the race.

kirsten

oh, erin, i'm so sorry.

jen j-m

i'm so sorry, erin.
i'm glad you're listening to what your body is telling you and taking care of yourself, even if it feels like a total bummer. i hope you can figure out a way to integrate running into your life and keep your body feeling good at the same time.
xo

Ali

You sound like a real runner to me. Heal fast Erin, you'll be at it again in no time I'm sure.

melissa b

Erin, as a former real runner just getting back into it, you have my sympathies. Have you tried yoga to combat those running injuries? Another distance runner I know told me about that. Heal fast!

Sarah Jackson

You sure are a runner, my dear. I'm so sorry that you're not going to make your goal, but avoiding injury is so much more important. You've made a wise decision.

molly

a runner you are--and a smart one at that. such a hard and disappointing decision. but there is another half marathon on your horizon, i am sure.

leslie

hey runner girl! i hope your pain goes away. so you can enjoy running again someday. whether it be a 5 mile one. or a longer one.

Jill O.

Erin, I'm proud of you for knowing when to say "no" even when it's hard. So many people would just push through all that pain and end up permanently damaging their body. It takes just as much courage to stop when you know you need to as it does to start.

You're an inspiration! Oh, and let's hear it for the mini muffin top!! :)

Anne

sending you hugs...

Alicia A.

I'm sorry too. You HAVE worked hard. The time will come, I'm sure.

Love to you, Erin.

beki

Oh Erin, I'm so sorry! I think you are very wise to listen to your body. Though now isn't the time, keep looking ahead, my friend :)

Caroline

Girlfriend, you SO totally rock. And if you start to feel sad, repeat your mantra over and over, "Ihaveaminimuffin, Ihaveaminimuffin, Ihaveaminimuffin..."

aprill

i really admire all that you have been able to accomplish as a runner erin!!
xo

Sarah

Revel in your successes, friend. The journey isn't over. You've simply hit a detour. Take it five miles at a time and you'll eventually reach your destination, wherever and whenever that may be. You'll get there. Trust. You absolutely *will*.

Sarah

Also, if the wrist wasn't reason enough, I think the wrist AND the calf are ample excuse to indulge in that red wine and chocolate therapy I mentioned last week.

amandajean

i can only imagine your disappointment. but, hey, jeans fitting better IS a nice bonus. hope you heal up soon.

betsy

I'm so sorry, erin. What a disappointment for you. For what it's worth you really do sound like a runner to me. Sending calf-healing thoughts and a few margaritas your way...xo

Mintyfresh

as the daughter and ex of ultra-committed runners (as well as the former proofreader of a running magazine), I know the disappointment and pain of an injury that prevents you from competing. Have you looked into your shoes? That is, if your shoes are old or if they're not the right type for your gait, they may be hurting more than helping. A good running store can probably give advice on that, but of course, a doctor should be consulted regarding the pain. I hope you can find a solution that will help you run pain-free!

LauraJ

Most importantly please remember that you haven't failed. You're putting it on hold.
Big hugs for your bruised ambitions.

Kris

Oh I am so sorry your injury is keeping you from running - but there will be others in your future. Take care of yourself,
Kris

Cassie

This is so unfortunate! I'm so sorry. I'm assuming you are talking about the Derby Marathon this upcoming weekend. My brother trained for the Derby full-marathon for MONTHS last year so he could qualify for the Boston marathon and missed the turn off! He ended up running the half-marathon instead! He has been holding that over himself all year. And next weekend he'll be running the race for redemption! And you better bet he'll be looking for all the signs pointing him towards the full marathon.

Stephanie

You've definitely made the right decision. Sometimes our bodies just don't want to cooperate with the wants of our minds. It is a bummer you can't do this race, but you are right, there are more out there. When your body and mind are ready at the same time, it will be a beautiful moment!

I've always said I'm not a runner either, even though I run a few times a week. Last year I trained but did not race in a ten miler and a triathlon. It was not a good year for me. I've decided to jump back on the horse and am running a 10k in early summer. I am even toying with running a half marathon in the fall, even though I never thought I would!

Margot

This is quite how I felt last year when I realized that there was no way training was compatible with nursing school and a very stressful relationship and had to give it up a little over half way there.
It lingers constantly in the back of my head and I really WILL do it some day, as will you! It wasn't meant to be this time, but it will be meant to be many more times after this!

Kelly

Erin-you are such an inspriational blogger. I always enjoy reading what you're up to, crafty or not. I'm so sorry for your injury and wish you a speedy recovery!!

hugs

Cath

De-lurking just to say that I totally understand your frustration -- but really applaud your decision. I have several friends (and one former marathon-running husband) who pushed just that little bit too far and now have long-term injuries that prevent them from the enjoyment of a good run on your own terms. Think of this not as a setback so much as an investment in your long-term running life!

suzanne

oh boy. i know how hard this is. i really know. you have done such a great job & come such a long way! that totally counts for something. it's not easy, but you are being smart by listening to your body. the mini will always be there. and yes, you are a runner - you have learned so much. this is one of the hardest lessons, i think. phone call forthcoming!

Julie @ Letter9

Aw, Erin, I'm sorry. But you're totally right: there will be other half marathons. You will have plenty of wonderful runs in your future. This, too, shall pass.

Running too much on an injury will only mean you'll have to take even longer off so cutting it short now for a little while will get you back on the road sooner, I'm sure.

Feel better. Baby yourself a bit. You deserve it.

meg

hey erin -

just some empathy here. a few years ago, after feeling like a real runner and having a marathon under my belt, i thought a ten miler would be no big deal and was happily training away, only to have a foot issue derail me with a week to go.

i've been off running for a few years now and don't think i can run the way i used to (daily) but you've inspired me to get back into it (i ran more than walked 3 miles yesterday and am pretty psyched about it). anyway, you are a real runner in my book. my new goal is to be in good enough running shape to maybe take you on our 3.5 mile cove loop when you visit...

xoxo
(finally got your case in the mail today - should be there soon.)

carol

YOU are the inspiration!

I'm not sure if I ever want to run in a marathon, but since exercising on a regular basis I have a huge admiration for those that stick to it!

I never thought of myself as an athlete, "exercise obsessed", or even fit...but I think I do now!

Charity

I'm so sorry for your disappointment, but happy that you've found the joy of running, even if the plan didn't quite go as... planned. :0)

leslie

i am so sorry erin!!
it IS important to listen to our bodies.
there will be more runs in the future. especially with your determination!
hugs.

Elinor

You ARE a runner! But the one thing that most runners struggle with is knowing when to back out of a race and plan for another one. Think about how crappy you would feel if you ran next weekend and it was an awful race! You want your half to be a good one. I ran one last fall and had to make 4 porta-potty stops along the way. I ran one yesterday with no stops and I suddenly realized how much more fun good races are. It's worth the wait. You should still run one, just maybe not next week! I hope your leg heals up soon!

Tracy

I'm so sorry to hear that, dear. But there will definitely be more races. You will get there. It's better to keep yourself healthy than to push toooo hard. You will get there.

Di

You will manage! I have run 2 half marathons before and really need to try for another race to make sure I go running....I have never been too keen on the whole thing and unlike you struggle to go out when it rains or is windy! Well done on getting so far and when the injury has healed go for it again!! I tore a calf muscle a few weeks back and rest and the likes was all that it took!

Ursa

Please take care of yourself, let the leg rest and maybe even have it checked out by the specialist. You are hooked to running and you will be back. I am planning on running the half in Memphis TN in December. Maybe by then you would be good to do it too or at least I can virtualy train with you. Thinking of you.

Tonya

You know what - the fact that you've trained and put so much effort into it is a huge inspiration! It's okay to feel let down, but at least you're doing the smart thing for your body. And really (I feel the need to say it again), you are genuinely inspiring. Honestly, I don't know how you even have time to breathe!!

blair

I'm so sorry. I could say things like "it's good you listened to your body" and "it was meant to be this way",but it really just sucks, plain and simple. xo

Mary Beth

I'm so sorry for your disappointment, Erin, and I can relate. Hang in there; most likely you'll be out there next year, feeling great, or maybe even before.

Sam

Hi Erin -
One of my favorite sayings: "You are what you do every day." So, you are a runner - no doubt. It doesn't sound like your race is over - sounds like you are just getting started in the whole scheme of things. Smart to take your time and listen to your body. I hope the disappointment subsides and congratulations on what you have accomplished this far!
Sam

Rachel

So sorry to hear this Erin. You really are an inspiration to me to get back out there and make some time for fitness and myself. I hope everything heals up quickly.

miss chris

I hope you're feeling about things now... you've got so much support out here!! And hon, if you can run 5 miles and enjoy it, you are a runner in my book. ;)

cloth.paper.string

oh, erin. it's so sad to hear that you weren't able to race this weekend.

i've been cheering for you through this training season, and i know that you are indeed a runner.

there will be many more runs and races ahead for you. i know it.

Angela

I know it has to hurt so much to have to give in to your body's demands--but you are doing the right thing. By taking care of yourself now, you will likely allow yourself to run in many more races once you're healthy again.

For what it's worth, I'm in total awe of all you've accomplished already. You're light years ahead of me! (I'm doing good if I can jog to the end of my street)

BTW--I have been dreaming about your little patchwork bibs ever since your post last summer, and I finally got the time to make one of my own. (I posted pictures on my blog, along with credit to you for the concept). I have never been a fan of teething bibs because the ones I've seen in stores are so ugly, but I really love this one. It's an addicting little project! Thanks again for sharing it.

elliebelle

I think it is truly amazing that you can get yourself to run so much as it is! Way to go! It's such a great thing for your body - keep up the good work. I only wish I were as dedicated as you.

AJ

Reading your post has really inspired me to starting running again. I know it's a matter of just getting up and going.

I think you did the right thing. You are amazing! And there will be a day when you can run again.

Anina

This just sucks. There will be other races but you may want to find out what's causing this problem. Do you know? Is it just overexertion?
Good luck!

Cary

Running 10 miles is ALMOST/PRACTICALLY a half marathon. That's just awesome. Funny thing is, I found your website because I'm a crafter, but I'm also a runner so it was bonus when you would talk about that. I'm sure you can run another half marathon when you decide what your body needs to recover.

The same thing happened to me. I wanted to run a marathon so bad. I trained for months and it came down to me being gone ALL the time and away from my family. I just decided it wasn't the right time in my life. When my kids are a few years older I'll have time to train when my husband is at work.

God bless you and hope you find peace in your decision.

KeanaLee

what you have done thus far are things that only some of us dream about......Get well.

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