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I lost my words

Mom's orchids

I lost my words.

I am not sure how it happened, but it did. And when they disappeared, I barely noticed. But now, sitting a greater distance away, it's clear that they are missing. I'm not sure if after pouring so much into a book, I just didn't feel the need to say anything else. Maybe. More likely, it was not sharing much of anything while I intently focused on those 208 pages that made me clam up a bit. Regardless, the words stopped.

I find it curious, though, that while I am doing a dismal job of documenting my daily life (a photo a day is often a chore and there are no words on the 365 any longer, either) and a mediocre job at sharing my creative work (garments that have been sewn- and worn!-  and not blogged as well as the weekly oil painting), I still form the sentences in my head. The words are floating around in there, looking for a place to land. And that backlog of sentences and paragraphs that need writing down are cramping my creative muscles. Because, let's face it, the majority of my thinking is focused on my kids, my husband, our household, feeding everyone, cleaning up after everyone, procuring and doing the things that make up daily life. When there is space and time for creative thinking, it is best for me if that little sliver of mental bandwidth I have leftover is clear and ready for use. I need to shake out what is in there and move forward.

All of this is a very long-winded way of saying that the words are coming. They may be jumbled and messy or short and sweet, but I plan on letting them out as they come. Lucky for me, I have been asked to join the party that is habit in December. One photo, 30 words or less. And, for me, a jump start - a way to let the words out, just a little at a time. I'd love it if you'd visit me and the other guests over there this month. I think the sum of all those daily bits of all those women's lives is powerful and a bit magical, too.

Comments

Sarah

Oh goodness, woman, I hear you! I have so much in my head, but am at a loss at where it should all be. All my energy is into other things at this point, but I have a plan to change that after the first of the year. I must. Without creativity and such, I'm floundering! Stay well and be gentle with yourself. xoxo

beth lehman

oh, erin. i read this post and went for a quick walk... thinking about this the whole time. i can't quite articulate this season in my life... with my children getting older... with their pulling away and then needing so much at the same time. how communication is a bit more difficult and we are navigating new waters that make me realize those days of naps and playdates were a cakewalk! for me in this season of my life my thoughts are more private and a bit more difficult to share completely. your post on habit about being heard was spot on. xo

Suzanne

It's ok to be speechless. I hope you gently transition to a place where you feel comfortable with your voice again.

Molly

familiar territory! habit seems the perfect way to ease back into your voice. I look forward to more. (also, Beth Lehman is right on about this season of our lives.)

emily

i was loving this post even before i got to the part about habit. your words here are perfectly perfect in every way. this is the second thing (i just read blair's post) i needed to read this morning, and i didn't even know it. xo.

leslie

this could not be a more perfect worded post.

it definitely resonates with me!

so looking forward to seeing you on habit!

xx

beki

Oh gosh, I think there are a lot of us right there with you, I know I sure am.

Debra

As someone that has followed you for years on flickr, I think your words are fine however they come
:)

Debra

Alicia A.

Mine have been missing for so long, I don't know where to look for them. We will be reading yours when they come back, you know that, right? xo.

Account Deleted

I know you know I know what you are saying ;) xo

Josie

I've lost my words too, and my crafty mojo. I next to never sew, I can't get round to blogging about the few things I do make. My kids are getting older and I should probably stop including them in my posts. I am not sure who I am writing for anymore and yet I can't quite give it up. If you find your words can you ask them where my sense of direction has gone?

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All of this is a very long-winded way of saying that the words are coming

Margret

But you get your orchids to flower! I keep buying them, one day one of them will hopefully re-flower :)

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